Have you seen the movie “The Invention of Lying”? It’s a 2009 movie that will make you crack your ribs anytime. The thought of this article makes me laugh; thinking about the many lies tailors have invented just makes me picture them in my head as Ricky Gervais.
Did I tell you that I once threatened to lock up my tailor? If I didn’t, story for another day; but now you know my love for her has increased since I started learning how to sew. However, it doesn’t change the fact that this babe don give me plenty lie chop; she dishes them out very nicely with a calm subtle voice that usually ends with “you know you’re my special customer, I won’t lie to you”. Chai, me sef I go chop the lie and ask for dessert; sometimes I even make excuses for her. I think to qualify as a tailor, you need to have some lying skills or somehow be related to a Lai -Lai person.
So here are 7 common lies tailors tell…
1. Tailor – Madam/Oga, your outfit is ready.
Reality – fabric is still inside the same bag you brought it in, not yet cut and lying somewhere in the tailor’s shop.
2. Tailor – 6 yards no go reach for this your style oh
Reality – that outfit will be perfect with probably 4/5 yards but this disclaimer is to restrict all possibilities of you asking for the remaining material because they sometimes sew dresses and sell (side hustle inside business). My current tailor no follow for this one; even if it’s a half yard, she will return it but I’ve had this experience with previous tailors.
3. Tailor – I don travel, abeg no vex; you can come next week for the outfit.
Reality – tailor is locked up inside the shop trying to meet up with the plenty customer requests. He/She has taken more orders than what they can deliver and is now struggling to meet up. Since you are an old customer, it’s easy to cajole you that is already used to their price and get away with it than to disappoint a new customer who they would have charged an arm and a leg.
4. Tailor – I’ve been very sick and hospitalized.
Reality – this happened to me, guess what the true story was? The guy later confessed that he misplaced the fabric and did not know what to tell me; so he kept searching for the same fabric till he found one after 2 months. Which kain yeye sickness??? Mschewwww
5. Tailor – the problem is your fabric, e no good for this style
Reality – the problem is you did not get the style after claiming to be a fashion designer. If it was my fabric, you should have noticed it won’t be ideal for this style as soon as you saw it. Now you have finished cutting and sewing; suddenly it’s the material. Okay… no wahala, next tailor please.
6. Tailor – I’ll bring your outfit in the afternoon tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, no show until 4pm and you call the tailor – he/she responds with ”I’m on my way, you’ll see me in next 30 minutes”. 1 hour, 2, 3…. you call and you hear ”the number you’ve dialed is switched off”.
Reality – that outfit has not been completed; maybe it’s been cut and sewing has started but sister/brother, that your outfit is not coming home that day.
7. Tailor – you have added weight, na why the cloth no be your size again oh.
Reality – the tailor was too busy and gave someone else your material to help with cutting and the person made mistakes. Another reality could be that the tailor mixed up your measurements with another customer with same name and gave you a different sized outfit.
Tailor lies are plenty shaaaaa, abeg what is the worst lie/excuse you’ve gotten from a tailor and what was the real story?
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