The other end of the line sounded dead for a second; at first I thought the call had ended. Then I looked at my phone and the minutes were still reading, it was 49:11 mins that I had spent on the phone with Eric. I said another “hello” just to be sure he was still there; he replied with a deep sigh…Lynda I’m still here but I just feel empty.
Yeah, there are times when guys feel empty too, feeling the need to have someone who loves them genuinely and not for a reason or a season. My conversation with Eric was deep and quite informative. Ok, I’ll give a brief profile of Eric. A Nigerian who has lived in London since he was 10 years old, at 28 already accomplished-good job, owns his own house in London, posh car. Dresses well, always in the gym (gals u know how the abs will be), speaks fluently, very intelligent but doesn’t go to church (I can tell cos I have known him for a while) and ….ok I’ll stop for now. So in every respect, he is an eligible bachelor. Agreed?
So since I met Eric, we’ve gradually grown from mere acquaintance to good friends and then somehow I became a confidant. Eric could tell me virtually anything and everything and the bulk of the story is usually girls…. (What else do guys talk about apart from money & sports)? On this particular day, he was whining about being in the house alone and needed company but didn’t want to call any of his female friends cos somehow they’ll end up in bed and … sure u already know how it ends. He went on to say that he wanted to get married and settle down; he was finally tired of FWB (Friends With Benefits), tired of going out every night and squander money on alcohol and gals, he was tired of spending different nights with different girls and also tired of coming back to an empty house. Aaaww, poor Eric. So while talking to him that day, he complained of how every girl wants one thing or the other. He asked me where/how he can find a wife (since I refused to marry him…loll). First I asked Eric, was “what kinda woman are you searching for”? He told me how he wanted a good girl, a faithful and trustworthy person who will be a good wife and companion for the rest of his life. The only thing I told him was to become the male version of that kinda girl and in no time he will find her. Suddenly, there was no more sound from him… the other end of the line sounded dead. Obviously, it was going to be difficult for him to become that person (judging from the Eric I know) but that was my honest & best answer for him.
Guys, I’ll ask you the same question, what kinda woman do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Are you that kinda man that she’ll want to stand by her side? There comes a point in a man’s life when he realizes that he needs to deviate from some certain characters and habits. The things that make you happy will no longer be found in those places. For instance you want a God-fearing wife and you spend every evening in a strip club or in a pub…sorry bruv, you ain’t gonna find her there cos the places you go to determine the kinda people you meet. You need a respectful woman whereas you have no respect for people, and you treat people arrogantly… sorry your character will drive her away even before you make a move. You want Agbani Darego and a sexy wife but your pot-belly is making it difficult for you to even button your shirt…PLS hit the gym.
Guys, it’s simple and easy…cut out those loose strings, patch up the broken vessel, work towards becoming a better person, live with a purpose, write down your vision and God will bring a help-meet to help you fulfill your purpose in life. It is not rocket science, you don’t have to be Mr. Perfect but the girl just needs to see your determination and focus and she will walk/work with you to help you achieve the rest.
I stumbled unto this article by a fellow blogger A Good Man Who Can Find? and guys, I think you’ll learn a lot from this.