HALITOSIS…. how it all went wrong on the first date

HALITOSIS…. how it all went wrong on the first date

This story is really going to sound cliché but I gotta talk about it.

So I have been in talks with this vendor, sounded nice on the phone; he had the whole “I just got back from abroad” accent, intelligent and all the works. I was actually looking forward to our first physical meeting (just for meeting sake o).

He walks in, handsome chap, nice dentition, lovely shoes and bespoke shirt – everything was spot on, prim and proper. I stretch forth my hands for a handshake, and he says “good morning”…….then we have a decent conversation and all live happily ever after…WRONG. I was assaulted, brutalized, harassed, mugged, battered and assailed with the worst case of Halitosis (what a beautiful name for a killer) mouth odour. I literally had to take a step back. Let’s give it up for my poker face that remained straight like I wasn’t weeping inside; notice how I didn’t bother describing the smell. That’s because there are no words, no words at all in English language; but I’m sure the Yorubas will have one or two nice adjectives to describe my ordeal in the hands of Mr. Prim and Proper with mouth odour. Only thing on my mind was; “dude, how does your girlfriend kiss you?”

Let’s not go on and on and on about the problem, don’t murder the fine boy.

I am quite sure you have met one or two people with this life threatening disease (yes oo, it is life threatening). We all gossip about people with halitosis behind their back; the best we do is probably give them a mint or gum like we’re being generous. But beyond that, I have always wondered if anyone has been brave enough to tell a friend he/she has mouth odour. If you have, please share experiences o. Did you receive slap after that or did the person burst into tears or……….????? I’m really curious (maybe, just maybe I can help this vendor of mine).

We all know the solution or remedy to halitosis; brush twice a day, don’t eat spicy foods, use mouth spray, chew a mint gum, yada yada yada. I know this, you know this, and we all know this. If you think this article was going to advise you on how to tell someone he/she has halitosis, think again, because frankly I have no idea. I’ll just keep offering them gum…loll.

Happy Weekend Guys, please brush well oh so you don’t brutalize your Valentine’s Day dinner date.

Written by Anu

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